Origin Stories | 'The Flexibility of FUCK'
"FUCK," he shouted as he found his fingers wedged under the car door. As his fleshy index and pointer fingers began to bruise the colour of a ripe plum, he turned to his mother. He expected a face of comfort but instead received one of scorn.
"Don't use that word, son. It's rude!"
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The exact origin of the word that makes us unpopular with our mothers but super popular with our Year 6 peers is particular unclear. It's etymology is suspected to be from the Low German, Frisian or Dutch languages and used to mean something similar to 'strike' or 'move back and forth'. Which, is kind of like what people do when they are fuck-ing (wa-hey!).
Fuck was apparently first uttered (well, written and not scribbled out) around the year 1500 sometime - a Latin English poem satirising the Carmelite friars of Cambridge (who doesn't make fun of those guys though). The author was said to have written: "They [the friars] are not in heaven, since they fuck wives of Ely." This was all written in some sort of Lost-type code and I'm not sure you can trust much that comes from the pre-iPhone notes era, but fuck it. Let's run with it.
The word went on to develop non-sexual meanings in the late 19th century, famously being used not-too-discreetly in James Joyce's 1921 masterpiece Ulysses. A New York court ruled his use of the word (um, twice in a 265,000 word-span) obscene and it was met with a good ol' book bonfire by outraged citizens. Post-World War I Fuck had become (along with Shit!) the most popular of the contraband phonemes, accounting for more than half of the salacious swearing children are reprimanded for post-stubbed toe.
These days Fuck can mean pretty much anything. In March 2002, the infamous American president Mr. Bush (who was nothing if not attention-grabbing) reportedly burst in on a Condoleezza Rice speech and yelled to the rooftops, "Fuck Saddam. We're taking him out!". Perhaps the low point of Fuck's history, it just goes to show how this cool but confronting colloquialism is not going away any time soon.
This incredible word can be utilised in a variety of situations - as a weapon or to woo a lover, it gets around.
Greetings: "How the fuck are you?"
Aggression: "Fuck you!"
Confusion: "What the fuck...?"
Confused Aggression: "How the fuck should I know?"
Despair: "Fucked again."
Lost: "Where the fuck are we?"
Disbelief: "Unfuckingbelievable!"
It can be used in an anatomy class - "He's a fucking asshole."
It can be used to command attention - "Shut the fuck up!"
It can be maternal - "You motherfucker."
It can even be political - "Fuck Tony Abbott"
But most importantly, it can be romantic - "I fucking love you."
Throughout time, Fuck has remained a 'swear word'. One of those strange forbidden fruits of our language exaggerated to Biblical proportions. But we think it's time to make peace with the word. Let it become that calming outburst of pain not followed by a guilty hand over the mouth. Radio stations shouldn't have to add some phoney explosion effect to pretty much every single good pop song ever made (I mean, really. I think we can work out he's saying fuck you). Instead, Cee-lo Green's geniusly-crafted lyrics should be heard in all their glory.
Fuck is a flexible word which should be often and proudly proclaimed! The F-word is not the distinguishing feature of an idiot but rather the defining feature of a versatile linguist. Adding a Fuck or a Shit here or there only adds to the myriad of sentences one can construct and not to mention the limitless emphasising abilities. And if we're going with the whole Fuck means to make mind-blowing, back-scratching, bed-breaking love... then we think, maybe we all should get to spreading the love more often.
